Thursday, September 6, 2012

So I feel like I've reached a breakthrough. I had to hurry up and write this down. It's funny how cliche the commonplaces for life are.. it just takes awhile to click. For example when I was younger, I had this children's book read to me and at some point, a stomach said "rawr". I'm thinking the fuck is wrong with his stomach---until years later when my stomach growled for the first time. When somebody dies and everyone's ending response is "That's what ___ would've wanted" or "____ would've liked that".. I hated that shit; real original. But I get it now..totally get it. It eases the fuck out of your soul. Doing it for her is self-satisfying for me.

I've come to the conclusion that this is life in the real world and I'm new here. I wasn't there before because I hadn't experienced pain yet. I think Maggie is a bitchass nigga for dying, that was a little drastic. a little extreme and I still don't believe there's some spiritual explanation for this. But when people ask me about her or I try to get across how amazing she was through my blog, it makes me realize how many motherfuckers didn't even get the chance to meet her. I not only met her, but knew her. I not only knew her, but was able to include her in my life. I am privileged as fuck. I may have used all my luck for the next twenty years.

The whole cliche when people tell you It does get better.. It does.


  1. I've been reading your blog every now and then and kept up since the accident, and I just want to say how fucking shitty life is. I wont give you some hallmark bullshit saying because death just fucking sucks. makes you wonder what the purpose of life is sometimes. You make me wish I knew her she seems like a down ass person, the picture with her dad fucking breaks my heart...can't even fathom what they're going through. Keep your head up and you're right shit eventually does get better, but the journey there is a bitch.

  2. i'm really sorry to hear about maggie. when a loved one suddenly passes out of nowhere, it's quite overwhelming. just know that death may have ended her beautiful life, but it can never end the special relationship you had with her. that bond will continue to thrive. it's okay to have emotional outbursts and it's okay to be self-absorbed. the most important thing right now is that you do not suppress your feelings and get into things outside of yourself. each and every day WILL get better.