Enough to help me realize how old everything gets. So fucking old. A lot of what I settle for:
I heard a joke amongst friends for the third time, tonight. Same guy. Introduced it like it was new.
I saw this dull color of bullshit in someone else's eyes; prepping that they're disappointed with me.
I let another person's commentary to dumb me down pass me. Began to reply sharply, but bit my tongue for the sake of tension.
It made me think how ridiculously much I miss my friends. I miss refreshingly laughing with Jasmine and Khelsea. Then it immediately depressed me to think that when they do visit, I'll see them momentarily for about 4 hours total. I needed my best friends conversation, tonight. I thought about calling her, but I knew there'd be no point. She won't answer or call back. Just who she is. I'd rather not upset myself thinking she will. And I'm thinking all this on the drive home, by the way. More thoughts start streaming. I decide to call a friend whom I recently in my life have been sharing the most with-a perfect candidate to hear me out. I explain that I feel like shit; that I'd like to explain when she's not busy. Sure enough, she calls me later with another voice in the background. Her divided attention. No thank you.
Whatever. Word to all my followers, especially if I don't know you. Thank you for reading/your time. You basically just heard me out. Somewhat.
luv
..
*hug*
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